U.S. History / Government / Mrs. P's 7th/9th hour 07-08
"Did the lights just flicker?" "Either that or I just had a stroke." - Mrs. Pearson
"Mrs. Pearson, do you know where my illegal beverage is?" - Logan "I refuse to believe that you would bring an illegal beverage into this room." - Mrs. Pearson "Oh, he did." - Luke
"Where is he?" - Mrs. Pearson "The IMC... is that not where he was supposed to be?... I thought I was giving a good answer... Logan, run!" - Jeff
"Definitions? So, like, a dictionary would work? Oh my God, the stone age has returned!" - Mrs. Pearson
"You all smell hot..." "That's because history class was smokin' today."
"...but we stopped to talk and Anna did a cartwheel on the way here."
"There's a picture of the capital building. I think."
"There are 30 million foreign visitors a year." "Exactly?" "According to the web site, yes."
"In England... people don't get murdered in bars, they get murdered in pubs... there's a major difference... and actors no one cares about live there." - Logan
"There's Stonehenge, where obviously aliens put it up..." - Logan
"It has 700 rooms." - Logan "Psh. Only 700?"
"The queen... she pretty much stays wherever she wants." - Logan
"...so they have more televisions than TV's..."
"Joy's [powerpoint] was exciting." "Joy's was like reading the Bible all at once... the Bible has more interesting stories." - Georgi
"That's a really nice first slide." - Georgi "It's kickass." - Erik "Erik! Erik is swearing." - Georgi
"Everyone loves reggae." "Yeah I don't know." "When you're doing illicit drugs..."
"Did you notice that pause before I said, 'no,' contemplating whether to say not just 'no,' but 'hell no?'" - Mrs. Pearson
"I printed out driving directions from here to Buenos Aires... 12 pages." - Dustin
"Can we watch a movie for my people?... a two-and-a-half hour movie?" - Dustin
"Mrs. Pearson, I've discovered that I have a tape measure in my pocket. Can I take it back to Mr. V?" - Georgi
"Would this be legal?... I've always wanted to marry a giant gorilla."
"I don't know where this came from, but something about sex with guinea pigs." - Logan
"Big Dog goes... 'Sex! Sex!' Until we were all quiet." - Luke
"I forgot to flick you off yesterday." s Luke "What?" - Everyone
"Wanna smell it?" "No, I can smell it every time you put it on."
"Do we have this conversation every day, Luke?"
"Test, Jackson!" - Everyone
"It's like a party in my mouth, and everybody's melting with great goodness."
"Did you just say 'ight' to Mrs. Pearson?" "'Ight, G-momma." - Luke
"Oh crap, I'm going with you after school."
"I'm healthier? Yeah, except for that incurable disease, I'm really healthy." - Mrs. Pearson
"Is there an obscene word in any of that?" - Mrs. Pearson "You said 'pants.'" "'Spurts!'" - Georgi
"[Knock knock]" - Door "Who is it?" - Mrs. Pearson "Housekeeping." - Door "Sorry, everyone that's supposed to be here is already here." - Mrs. Pearson
"So what are we doing today." - Luke "Marriage and family stuff." - Mrs. Pearson "Yay!" - Luke "Actually, we're doing divorce." - Mrs. Pearson "Aw." - Luke
"What happens if you marry a chick and she's really a dude?" "You're retarded." - Georgi
"'Are we done?'... we're going to spend from now until May 20th in a tug of war." - Mrs. Pearson
"This is the most fun I've had in this class." - Georgi "Good... it took all this time to get there... I would have thrown that word in every day since the Constitution." - Mrs. Pearson "Sperm bank!" - Georgi
"I'm not puttin' up with it any more. It smells like poop over there." - Georgi
"You also cannot sue your parents." - Mrs. Pearson "Aww." - Logan "Unless..." - Mrs. Pearson "Oh!" - Logan
"That's cool and not cool if you think about it." "It's, like, 'interesting.'"
"The Marine Corps paid for my stitches." - Georgi "Did you get hurt in training?" - Mrs. Pearson "No, at the office I cut my finger on the door." - Georgi
"There was this dude shaving his chest from U-High; this doesn't relate to anything. So he was shaving his chest..." - Logan
"That's a sweet car." "It looks like a bun." - Georgi
"Doesn't you neighbor have an airplane?" "No... he's got about 35 junk cars." - Mrs. Pearson
"We'll get her a Hoveround." "A Hoveround? Those are badass."
"'Fist him?' Taylor, choose your words better."
"I'm going to blow you up tonight!... If she blows up, I'll be really sorry... with all my luck, it's really going to happen." - Luke
"Those are going to suck." - Luke "What?" "Labeling the world." - Luke
"Dang it, you're not supposed to come back yet." - Luke "Why?" - Mrs. Pearson "I was making a basketball hoop." - Luke "A basketball hoop. Just what I don't need." - Mrs. Pearson
"Will you awkwardly help me?"
"We have aphids this year, so we have to spray it like hard core tomorrow."
"It's a long day to sit and watch people bubble papers." - Mrs. Pearson
"Because they say I have to." - Mrs. Pearson "Say you don't want to?" "I believe I've said that..." - Mrs. Pearson
"I'm going to go to the girls softball meeting." "Why?" - Mrs. Pearson "Because I'm going to be a cheerleader." "What?" "I don't know."
"How could I forget Tajikistan?"
"A-F-G-H-A-N-I-stan... 'stan' a letter now." - Jeff
"Off the edge of your map you're going to draw New Zealand." - Mrs. Pearson "Can I just draw a sheep?" - Dustin
"It's not 'Thighland,' it's "Thailand." - Mrs. Pearson
"North Korea would be to the north, South Korea would be to the south. This is not hard." - Mrs. Pearson
"[hands out a map] This is Asia." - Mrs. Pearson "Oh, hello, Asia." - Dustin
"My hand is a better person because of you."
"Most likely to be famous? Of course I'm going to be famous, I already am."
"Why are you asking so many freakin' questions?"
"I'm afraid to stare into his eyes, I'm afraid he might try to seduce me."
"Look at Cody's smile next time... you'll be drawn to happiness."
"Brittany... thought birds had four legs."
"Most likely to be late for school... sometimes he just doesn't show up."
"That was gross." - Kyle "That's bad when Kyle says it's gross."
"A good part of your life rests on how good you do tomorrow... no pressure."
"We were playing paintball with BB guns."
"You were happy he got hit by a car because it canceled soccer practice?" - Mrs. Pearson
"We'd like to congratulate Austin... for being elected... FFA treasurer." - Intercom "Woop-dee-frickin-doo-bazzle!" - Luke
"I need a god damn dollar." - Georgi
"'Questions about today'... every day you don't say it I feel naked." - Luke
"Wafting doesn't work." "Yeah, just eat the candle."
"And then you smell it and it's goodness."
"Shame on the parents that named their son Lexi." - Luke
"Wanna help refill the pop machine? We can make a big party out of it." - Jeff
"I wish I knew that song." "No you don't." - three people
"Angola. Like the prison in Indiana." - Mrs. Pearson "I've been there... I did 3 years." - Georgi "I did 6." - Dustin
"We used to have a journalism class when I went here... not anymore, though." - Mrs. Pearson "Probably because they got tired of writing on stone tablets."
"If we have a Code Red, we all have to leave so she can go get her AK-47."
"That's probably why she doesn't own a gun, or you'd be dead." "I do have a knife in my desk." - Mrs. Pearson "Is it like an I'm-gonna-shank-you knife or..." "It's more of a don't-F-with-me knife." - Kyle
"Until you have practiced this sentence: 'Mrs. Pearson, you haven't changed a bit." - Mrs. Pearson "Mrs. Pearson, you haven't changed a bit." "Mrs. Pearson, you're old."
"She was like, 'no Dilly bars for you, Luke,' and I was like, 'oh pity.'" - Luke
"I thought you were talking to somebody." "I was talking to my backpack."
"'Ih?'" "'Eh...' is it that hard to say?" "'Ih?'"
"My dad thinks he's gangster sometimes." "My both parents think they're gangster."
"Driving is death."
"Puberty sucks."
"I'm going to go party, and have sex with a lot of people."
"Brook slammed his head against the wall on purpose... he was like, 'that hurt,' and I'm like, 'no crap.'"
"He hugged me one time and lifted me off the ground... I was a little bit frightened... I was like, 'Hey, Brook, don't snap my spine.'"
"There was like a hundred different random things up there and it all fell down." - Kyle
"She wakes me up, she's like, 'Do you know what you just missed?' I'm like, 'Uh, sleep.'" - Kyle
"Do you know how to graph a circle?" "No, I gave that up a long time ago." - Mrs. Pearson
"He drives behind and picks up anyone who dies or breaks down along the way."
"Can you make me a bracelet?" "Uh no." "Why?" "He didn't even think about it." - Mrs. Pearson
"We can use an extra bit of volume in here." "Everybody loves how loud you are. It's fantastic."
"I was at Cub Foods last week, and this girl comes up to me and she's like, 'I know you!' And I'm like, whoa." - Kyle
"They didn't say, 'Interested in being on the golf team next year?' They said, 'Interested in playing golf?' The whole school's gonna go." - Mrs. Pearson
"'Logan never goes to the library?' He rarely comes here, what are you talking about?" - Mrs. Pearson
"Hey! Guess what? Whey did you just hug me? I think I'm going to vomit."
"Can you write a thousand of us to the IMC?" "No, I cannot write a thousand of you to the IMC." - Mrs. Pearson
"He says, 'go go go go,' and then we light him on fire." - Andy
"Actually, Mrs. Pearson, it was about dropping your class." "Sorry, but that's impossible." - Mrs. Pearson
"Wait, where'd she go?" "Away. And if you talk again, I'll write you up." - Luke
"Oh yeah, how was that math test today?" "God awful."
"No, Luke is like a Hollister commercial."
"I took pre-cal and physics this year... my GPA dropped like an entire point." - Luke
"Can I do and interpretive dance?" "No!" "I have to say that's a study hall request I've never heard before." - Mrs. Pearson
"Crackalackle! That's gangster for 'what's up.'" - Luke
"He was making prom reservations." "I went to the bathroom. Twice..." - Logan "What did you do for the rest of the minute and 45 seconds?" - Mrs. Pearson "I went to my locker?... then I went to the bathroom again." - Logan
"I've heard it's harder to get drunk on beer than on hard alcohol." - Logan "Yeah, 'you've heard.'"
"You can see the confusion in her face, and then she's, like, 'yeah.'"
"... who says he's from Australia but really has a speech impediment."
"Has she declared which citizenship she wants to be known as?" - Mrs. Pearson "I don't ask her those questions, believe it or not." - Luke
"We have booming conversations. About her grandparents." - Luke
"Some people are easily distracted. Right, Logan?" - Mrs. Pearson "What did you say?" - Logan
"Does it have bad stuff on it?" "No... All I'm going to say is 'fun nights,' and that's all I'm leaving it as." - Zach
"What does 'spiral, underscore, planet, box' mean?" - Andy
"Can I go to the bathroom?... It has to be the one with the stall door."
"Yeah, why didn't you stay home and pack?" "To leave Saturday?"
"'Cause I turned my application in late, and they're looking for responsible people."
"I'm guessing the library's pretty crowded." - Mrs. Pearson "It's not too bad. Plus there's an Easter bunny walking around."
"Your going to buy a car to replace his phone?" - Mrs. Pearson
"Look what you did... you broke my phone..." - Georgi "I kind, of, hurt my leg." "It kind of broke my phone." - Georgi
"I was going to say, 'How could you make a T backwards,' but it's definitely backwards." - Jeff
"I know, but I need to get it done so I can have fun this weekend."
"What do I do for fun? I teach high school... clean my house, that's always fun..." - Mrs. Pearson
"Can I reflect my life with you?" - Luke
"How many calories?" "A hundred." "Wow... what are calories?"
"Did you just call her me?"
"[sigh] I have a lot to do." "Then shut up and do it." - Luke
"What part of 'sexy cake' do you not understand?"
"That was like a little girly fart."
"You're going to murder me." "I'm going to murder you? Why this time?" - Mrs. Pearson
"My nipple is oddly wet now."
"Don't close the door on me! They closed the door on me." - Logan "That would be a clue." - Mrs. Pearson
"Andy, you're knocking off balls, man." - Luke
"I think they worked harder in the 1800's." - Mrs. Pearson "I don't know what you're talking about." - Logan
"Why aren't any of our ideas being implemented right now?" "Because many of them are illegal." - Mrs. Pearson
"I would give up my education to have study halls."
"He spelled 'bus' with two s's in two different places, actually... he spelled 'two' 'tow.'" - Jeff
"Andrew, can you come in and close the door since you [all] insist on being loud?" - Mrs. Pearson
"I think I'm going to donate this to the... Benter fund of dead stuff."
"If anyone knows anything on 'late,' it's Logan."
"Hey everyone, this-" "Can I have your attention for afternoon announcements..." - Intercom
"I object." - Logan "To what? Ninth hour?" - Mrs. Pearson
"Oh no; can I run to the library really right quick?"
"Let's play the game called... put away your iPod." - Mrs. Pearson "What, I can't hear you, my iPod was on." - Logan
"That one movie, where they're on the space ship..." "Um, Star Wars?"
"How are you suddenly blind?... and part two of my question is, how can you read the test?" - Mrs. Pearson
"You're so good at history that it cancels out the fact that you're a woman."
"They said that our class is better [for mock trials] because we've had more experience in court." - Andy
"What if you're drunk when you go in for jury duty?" "You would get arrested." - Mrs. Pearson "What if you're just a bit tipsy?" "It depends on how you play it off."
"He rode his 4-wheeler through a marijuana patch... they thought he was trying to destroy the evidence." - Andy
"[referring to graph] I occasionally do something." - Logan "No, you occasionally sleep less, that's what that's saying." - Luke
"A jungle of marijuana, that's crazy."
"That book that's over here kept you out there until the bell rang?" - Mrs. Pearson
"If you can't pronounce a letter, you're just screwed, why would you go to speech?" - Luke
"Sorry, dear." - Michelle "Did you just call me 'dear'?" - Georgi "Yeah." - Michelle "What the hell?" - Georgi
"What do you need to do?... One says, 'Math,' the other says, 'Math?' The credibility of that conversation just took a nosedive." - Mrs. Pearson
"I don't like subtitles, it hurts my head." - Georgi
"I'm always on time. Can I go get a drink?" - Logan "So you'll be late." - Mrs. Pearson "I won't be late, I just won't be on time... I won't be late for me." - Logan
"Who wants to stretch? After I read the comics, I'll stretch."
"Who's watering the tree?" - Mrs. Pearson "I will! [quickly begins to leave] Wait, we need the bucket."
"Did you see Luke?... Did you see his pants?" "Not completely." - Mrs. Pearson
"Can I see the handbook, please?" - Logan "Logan, you're going to drive me to drink. [throws handbook at him]" - Mrs. Pearson
"Don't slam your calculator because you can't do physics, okay?"
"Can I go ask Mr. Corn a question... it's a quick question... its a, 'hey-is-our-study-guide-due-tomorrow' question."
"Ok, Ms. Pumpkin, I'm going to go toss my pumpkin... I just called you Ms. Pumpkin." - Luke
"Mrs. Pearson, I found the funniest political cartoon; can you explain it?" - Andy
"Ah, quiet. Refreshing." - Mrs. Pearson
"How do you guys live your lives so last-minute?" - Mrs. Pearson "It's kind of fun."
"And what did you bring to do?" - Mrs. Pearson "[pulls out Game Boy] Right here." - Logan "No, you need to have something else to do." - Mrs. Pearson "Can I go to my locker since evidently I can't play Game Boy in study hall?" - Logan
"Look at his hair." "Thank you."
"Is that Live Wire? It's back?" "It never left." "What left?"
"Why are you deaf? Do you want a Pop-Tart?"
"Mr. Nelson coughed up his lung or something." "I think that's an expression." "No, he told me... he coughed up his lung or his liver or something."
"Don't steal any road construction flashing signs." - Substitute "Come on, that's the best." - Andy "I know. I mean, 'no, you'll be caught.'" - Substitute
"This is a study hall... we are not going to play Monopoly unless I were to drop dead right here and now." - Mrs. Pearson
"Our country would be so good at grilling if George Foreman was President."
"Who's your President?... Harriet Truman, is that what you said?" - Mrs. Pearson
"I want to move to Canada. My inspiration is that map. It seems happy."
"We should have a casino night." "That would be great with the whole 'no gambling allowed in school.'" - Mrs. Pearson
"I haven't worked on it since I worked on it."
"How many other bhenbharahbhrs do we have?"
"Why are you dancing?" "Because I had the music in me."
"Stop ruining my life by singing."
"You came to take a quiz..." - Mrs. Pearson "Can we take one too?... can our combined efforts take one?" - Jeff
"When you left my room this morning, did you have all of your items?" - Mrs. Pearson "I thought I did until now..." - Cody "Your pants, Cody." "I think it was very opportune that you left behind your car keys on the same day that you decided to insult me that I was boring. Do you realize the apology that you'll have to go through to get them back?" - Mrs. Pearson
"They used my room instead of one of the three guest rooms in our house." - Luke
"If you're not studying, it's not legal."
"Ooh, blackmail. Using the study hall against you."
"It's okay, Logan, our state has plenty of money."
"So, eventually, it ends up at sort of a dumb number." - Mrs. Pearson
"Jeff watches the Colbert Report, which is not real news... I think he thinks it is."
"Semis should just disappear, all they do is wreck other cars and blow up."
"I was giving 'em two fingers, it means 'be quiet.'" - Dustin "In the back of the room!"
"I wanna get my grade back... does anybody have any bubble gum?"
"How old do you have to be to win?" - Mrs. Pearson "21!" "30!" "60!" "45!" "Mexican!"
"That would not only be fraud, that would be criminal." - Mrs. Pearson "That'd be the way to do it."
"I said, 'Dude, you dropped your packet,' and he turned around and looked for like 15 seconds."
"Or, as Nick said, if you were dressed like a Ku Klux Klan person while you were doing it." - Mrs. Pearson "Just say that you were a ghost... it's Halloween."
"It would run very close to my house... that's the bottom line, 'my house.'" - Mrs. Pearson
"Every piece of paper a teacher gives you is not a quiz." - Mrs. Pearson "I want a quiz!" "Stick around." - Mrs. Pearson "I want 6 quizzes."
"For history... government corn maze."
"You just gotta throw it harder." "Good call. [throws it harder]" - Logan "I hope you realize that if you break something... A, you'll get written up, B, you'll have to pay for it." - Mrs. Pearson
"Logan, you're easily amused." - Mrs. Pearson "It will be really cool if I do this... it would be even cooler if it were impossible." - Logan
"Gotta love notes... they never end and they're always interesting."
"Hey, Big Dog, I saw you driving yesterday..." "Shuddup!" - Big Dog
"[BZZZZZZ] The tone indicates that you have exceeded the safe limit of noise in this classroom." - Mrs. Pearson
"We're not black children playing baseball."
"Best ultimate Frisbee game ever."
"I don't try to stay stupid things... that wasn't a quote."
"What'd you name your plant?" "Charles."
"You almost chopped down my bonsai plant."
"This is the pinkest paper I've had in my life."
"Vagina power!" - Georgi "Speaking about being booted..." - Mrs. Pearson
"Fifteen of them were women... it was historic." - Mrs. Pearson "It was historic because it was the first mistake Illinois made." - Luke "...I didn't hear what he said... is he about to get booted?" - Mrs. Pearson
"You can't hold that against me." "I can hold your comments against you."
"Good job, Mrs. Pearson, you graded my paper correctly." "Do I get a sticker?" - Mrs. Pearson
"While I was grading this I was also cooking supper, watching the news, and fighting with my cat." - Mrs. Pearson
"Can I go to Schneider's?" "What do you think the chances are that he'll be in there?" - Mrs. Pearson "I'm in prob and stats... 7 to 1."
"You need help from Schneider." "No I don't, I'm not going in there."
"I didn't make it to my locker." "Did you get hijacked?" - Mrs. Pearson "Amanda tried to take me... can I go work on the volleyball thing instead of doing my English?"
"Do we have desks that we can sit in?" - Mrs. Pearson
"This is my thinking room... it makes me think of things I forgot when I'm in the hallway." - Logan
"It said, 'don't be a pooper, be a scooper,' in a nutshell." - Mrs. Pearson
"Let's discuss misplaced modifiers over there."
"Kristen, you're in my wallet."
"How can you not read upside-down?" "'Innocent was a tough word, it looked like 'income.'" - Logan
"Do all you people conspire together to get out of study hall?... I try not to take it personally that people bail out like this is hell or something." - Mrs. Pearson
"Where's the office? Is that the big glass thing?" "Here, I'll show you."
"How many did I miss today? Do you know off the top of your head?... I'm going to take that as a 'no.'"
"Can we change the Viking values to what a viking would do?... rape, pillage, slaughter." - Andy
"...the secretary of state will draw one out of a hat." - Mrs. Pearson "What kind of hat?"
"Thank goodness." "No, thank me." - Mrs. Pearson
"His brain will be hooked up to mine... I'm going to hook it up into my pocket."
"Can you please turn your illegal music down?" - Mrs. Pearson
"If we had a cat in here, it'd be going crazy."
"Mrs. Pearson, you can't get mad at me if I hit this and set it off... that's an impressive feat." - Logan
"This is such a waste of twenty minutes." "It's not supposed to be!" - Mrs. Pearson
"You got up before I went to bed after homecoming." - Andy
"I think you're up too early if you can't find a place that has a newspaper." - Andy
"You can abbreviate every word except 'xylophone.'"
"There's drugs on my desk! There's drugs!" - Georgi
"Can I use Luke's [blood test strip]?" "I can't sanction that." - Mrs. Pearson
"Red cup is 'party,' blue cup is not."
"We couldn't bring glass into the building 'cause you'd break it all."
"I'm not roaming, I'm going to my locker."
"Will you yell at me to do that before I leave?"
"There are also a few that that are totally full because they don't work."
"The fruit punch was out, but it doesn't say it's out, so it just sits there and spins, and it eats your dollar." - Jeff "Brilliant!" - Logan
"'Mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble, and, uh, we were late.'" - Mrs. Pearson
"You could kill somebody with this stapler." "That wasn't my plan. I just wanted to put papers together." - Mrs. Pearson
"Poop's funny." - Georgi
"It doesn't even smell like poop, it smells like retarded poop." - Georgi
"My first court day is October 10th, will you give me extra credit if I go?" - Cody "If I say no, will you not?" - Mrs. Pearson
"[writing] 'I love Luke.'" "In big, permanent letters."
"I always just walk around [without a pass]... I'm going to go return this to Benter now." - Jeff
"Let's go do it... oh, but we have to undo that thing..." "Yeah, you might as well not do it."
"[singing] 'We are the champions...' The juniors didn't appreciate that song very much... the juniors are pissed, but it doesn't help as much as I rub it in." - Logan
"God sits on a muffin." - Georgi
"God doesn't sit, God floats in the air." - Georgi
"Or it could a raincloud with God's chair on it."
"Check out my amendments." "He did them out of order." "Nice, that ought to piss her off."
"Shit's not allowed."
"Twenty points for [homecoming] king and queen?" "Somehow, I don't think that's fair." - Mrs. Pearson "But Mrs. Pearson, we can't not win."
"Can I help you?" - Luke "[looks at Luke in Mrs. Pearson's seat] I don't think you're who I'm looking for, where's Mrs. Pearson?"
"You just need tinfoil and a squeegee." "Tinfoil and a squeegee?... I'm pretty sure a pie has actual ingredients."
"We would make more money if we didn't fill it... just have it take dollars... a dollar-taking-away-machine." - Logan
"Because there are lots of bottles of ketchup with yellow sunglasses."
"...please come to the office." - Intercom "Yes! I'm just excited, I never get to go to the office." "That's not the usual reaction." - Mrs. Pearson
"Three." - Mrs. Pearson "Outlaws quart "I can hold your comments against you."
"Good job, Mrs. Pearson, you graded my paper correctly." "Do I get a sticker?"
"While I was grading this I was also cooking supper, watching the nering of troops." - Taylor "Four." - Mrs. Pearson "Rules for search and seizure." - Karen "Five." - Mrs. Pearson "Um... crime... is illegal." - Logan
"Eighteen." - Mrs. Pearson "Prohibition." "Nineteen." - Mrs. Pearson "Women have the right to vote." "Twenty." - Mrs. Pearson "Only males can become president." - Dustin "If you write that on the test... I will fail you." - Mrs. Pearson
"Imagine if you were swimming and eating turkey at the same time."
"Did anybody else get these cool... letters?" "Yeah, did you throw yours away?" "Yeah."
"They got lots of things. I can tell you all about the FFA."
"It took Jeff an hour and he didn't find it." "He was rifling through your belongings."
"Yeah, they think so." "They think so?" - Mrs. Pearson "Yeah, they're pretty sure."
"Do I need a pass?" "If you get caught, I don't know who you are and I don't know who you came from." - Mrs. Pearson
"I'm not taking notes in my notebook, that's for sure."
"I don't like tie-dye. Unless it's on other people."
"Because a diabetic would love to make us cookies." - Luke
"Some of you drove to school today, some of you before you got out of your driveway, faster than 35 miles per hour." - Mrs. Pearson
"Tomorrow we're going to arrest everyone... that's shorter than five foot five." - Mrs. Pearson "Ugh! [throws pen down]" - Georgi
"'Appointments' does not mean 'lunch with Monica next Thursday.'" - Mrs. Pearson
"I worked for the Census Bureau the summer before I started teaching... The worst part about it; I had to give back the briefcase and button... I'm teaching history!" - Mrs. Pearson "You should have kept it." "Yeah, 'I got mugged...'" "'I took a census from a black guy...'" - Dustin
"My US History notebook says 'English' on it, and my English notebook has nothing on it... I kind of got the wrong one."
"Let me get this right, you come in late, wearing a hat... and sitting at my desk, in my seat..." - Mrs. Pearson
"They wanted me to change rooms." - Mrs. Pearson "That's like changing Christmas!"
"Of all the changes around here, let me show you the best." - Mrs. Pearson "The light switch is in your room!"
"When's our assembly?" "Next hour." "Dammit."
"I want George Bush's screen name."
"You gotta keep the donuts behind the wall, dude."
"Is there a War Corps?" "They call it the Army."
"I was six years old. This was the first of my political geekiness." - Mrs. Pearson [Applause]
"He looks an awful lot like Mickey Mouse." "That's not very nice." "I know, but it's true."
"Not 'kind of,' it absolutely is unconstitutional." - Mrs. Pearson
"Look at what you did to my notebook!" - Taylor "You're making it even worse." "True dat, home G." - Taylor
"It sounds kind of like a sneeze." - Mrs. Pearson "Khrushchev!" "Very good." - Mrs. Pearson
"The secrets of the atomic age were passed based on a Jello box top. This is high-tech spying, folks." - Mrs. Pearson
"Oh my god, it matches! As if people usually show up at their door with Jello box tops that don't match." - Mrs. Pearson
"There's not a snowball's chance in hell I would ever jump out of an airplane." - Mrs. Pearson
"It was his job to find the [land] mines... he kind of lost a leg."
"There be llamas!" "You act like that's not something you see every day." - Mrs. Pearson
"...thought that it was important to know there are only 12 days until the new South Park season starts." - Mrs. Pearson "WOO!" "That wasn't quite my reaction." - Mrs. Pearson
"I need one..." "Why?" "So I can put my feet on it... you're so selfish."
"You don't grow them, they just happen."
"They have, like, crazy-food."
"There were four goals." "Money."
"I feel like a turd on the ground." - Georgi
"So you're not really as old as you really are."
"What time do the doors open?" "When I put the key in them." - Mrs. Pearson
"No, not a Tic-Tac, a tie tack."
"They don't have the proper stuff back then."
"She's an X-Man."
"Whoever did this killed him, like, twice."
"Muckrakers." - Mrs. Pearson "Muckrapers?"
"I hung out in Subway a whole day and it smelled like a piece of bread."
"Can we say it sucks and get more food?"
"The chicken loves you."
"Does everyone have to touch my chicken?" - Georgi
"Dubble-Bubble's a drug." - Georgi
"I knew he was out there somewhere, I just didn't know he was there."
"Dang it! We need to Google this."
"I'm gonna get really fat and run for President."
"Questions about today?" - Mrs. Pearson "School's done."
"I love to see dead babies. Makes my day."
"'Cause it sucks in Illinois." "And it's better in Alabama?"
"I don't make these stories up, I just tell them." - Mrs. Pearson
"It's a tradition. I'm starting a tradition."
"I'm glad we're in the 1900's now."
"Okay, then I guess it's time to kill him."
"Are you Mexican?" "Yes. I'm black, too."
"How does peachy mean good? Peachy's like a color."
"Thirty-three million isn't that much. That's probably why we forgot it."
"To say 'fighting' is a stretch of the imagination. It's more like three places we showed up." - Mrs. Pearson
"Everybody else is getting out." "Who is 'everybody else'?" - Mrs. Pearson
"We thought everyone else went home." "I wanna go home."
"That's not jousting." "Yeah it is." "Go read your newspaper."
"Let me show you the full body shot." - Mrs. Pearson "Ooh, is he naked?" "Yes, the president."
"Is Brittany gone?" "Yeah, she likes to get sick."
"Do you have any gum?" "No, I don't believe in gum."
"Oh man, I'm so sorry, I have problems." - Georgi "Doesn't mean your back should be on the other desk."
"A child that's born outside of marriage? Are you trying to get me to say 'bastard'?... Thanks for bringing that up." - Mrs. Pearson
"My favorite, my favorite, my favorite election story... requires stick people to tell the whole thing." - Mrs. Pearson
"Are they going to start planting trees? Oh my god."
"I knew he was somewhere, I just didn't know he was there."
"You need to get your facial hair to match that of each of the Presidents as we go."
"Carnegie Hall." "That's what I was thinking." "He didn't do that."
"Are we going to learn any more?" "Have we learned anything yet?"
"For what very good reason would you leave early?" - Mrs. Pearson
"What a crappy day. I just wanna' go beat up the sun." - Georgi
"Because we have wrestling." "You're like the only wrestler in the school."
"We could have the test on Wednesday..." - Mrs. Pearson "And then have a free day the rest of them?" "Did you hear that sentence come out of this face?" - Mrs. Pearson
"Pack the ham in New Orleans."
"Think peanut butter cups."
"He telegrammed Lincoln." - Mrs. Pearson "Don't you mean telegraphed?" "Does that sound weird? ... wired." - Mrs. Pearson "He IMed him. 'ttyl, I finished the mission.'" - Zach
"We're going to change the bill from 50 million dollars to 73 million dollars." - Mrs. Pearson "That's random... it doesn't even split." - Jessica
"Somewhere in the explosion I lost my chalk." - Mrs. Pearson
"175 feet long, 60 feet wide, 30 feet deep, quickly filling up with everything." - Mrs. Pearson
"Two hundred and seventy-five men who were sleeping, followed by my insulin pump..." - Mrs. Pearson
"If your feet smell like a fart that's bad."
"A big burst of energy after I stop talking." - Mrs. Pearson
"Go back to class. No one cares."
"I challenge you to a duel... I did not smoke drugs." - Georgi
"You can no longer tour the White House, but you could probably tour the outhouse of the White House."
"His bow just screams 'gay'?" - Mrs. Pearson
"But we got on a neat discussion about a gay bow."
"I will kill your notebook. I will eat it." - Georgi
"Reagan was a greaser." "Yeah, he was a gangster, yo."
"Does anybody know his name?... They named a mountain after him." - Mrs. Pearson "Rocky."
"$400,000. Not exactly that much compared to an athlete." - Mrs. Pearson "Or a gangster."
"So what brings you here?" - Mrs. Pearson "Lunch." "You came here for lunch?" - Mrs. Pearson "I brought my own."
"You took the constitution test..." - Mrs. Pearson "I think that was the one where we went a, b, d, d, d..."
"Students can name more characters from the Simpsons than they can their five basic rights. Is this true?" - Mrs. Pearson "Um, there's Bart, Homer... oh, Smithers..."
"He is the anti-drug poster child."
"All of those French foods that are really American."
"How much is the test?" - Mrs. Pearson "One hundred." "And twenty." - Mrs. Pearson "Holy..."
"Crazy; death penalty."
"Oh shucky darn, there it goes." - Mrs. Pearson
"Passing out's fun, though."
"I have an orchestra in my brain."
"I could have kicked him in half!"
"Is that the [president] with the eyes?" "They all have eyes..."