Plane Geometry / Pre-Cal / AP Cal
"I'm allowing [the Monster drink] to soak in to the tile floor." - Jeff "You're going to give the floor a heart attack." - Ms D
"She's my TA... who's gonna teach my crickets." - Ms D
"You know what brings test scores down? Staying up 'til 3 in the morning texting..." - Jeff "You know what else brings test scores down? Drinking two heart attacks in a can..." - Ms D
"Kinko's is open 24 hours." "Why?" "When I wake up at 3:30 in the morning and I'm like, 'Crap, I need to duplicate something.'" - Dustin
"My dad always says, that guy's IQ is how much his age is... he has as many earrings as IQ points." - Dustin
"If we're going to live up to our status as worst calculus class ever, we need people like you and you... to lower your standards a bit... the rest of you are doing your part... how low can you go?" - Jeff
"Don't use that one... I'm just looking out for the marker."
"Hey, guys, calculus, not baseball." - Ms D
"It overdosed... it was trying to look at its back." - Dylan
"They grade them down in Louisville, Kentucky." - Ms D "Oh, I got connections down there." - Zach "Who is it, Colonel Sanders?" - Dustin
"Guarantee it'll be on the test... I would almost bet Andrew's life on it." - Ms D
"If I draw this circle in here, what I'm going to have is..." - Ms D "Pizza for dinner." - Jeff
"Do you really have an extra chromosome?" "No, I don't have an extra chromosome!" - Kate
"...has a brief table of integrals that's like 4 pages long... 6 pages, sorry." - Ms D
"What did she say? 'That's just how it is?' I hate that rule."
"I told Mr. Mouser that there were more subtle ways to let me know he didn't want me to come back... besides giving away my parking spot." - Ms D
"They don't want you working full time and being retired." - Ms D
"You have done definite integration, haven't you?" - Saurby "Back in the sixties. Late sixties." - Dustin
"I'm pretty sure you've forgotten more math than I've ever learned." - Dustin
"We're going to be differentiating." - Ms D "Oh, I'd stick around for that, but I have a thing. To go to." - Schnides
"Third snow day, it's gotta be pretty much impossible for even Frosty the Snowman to get to school." - Ms D
"Can we say 'domination?'" - Dustin "You can, Dustin." - Ms D "1, 2, 3..." - Dustin "Domination." - pretty much just Dustin "That was weak."
"Due to the graphic nature of this function, user discretion is advised." - Dylan
"Kate, those are stupid pants you're wearing." - Jeff
"Get your foot out of my butthole." "I think we have some questionable activity going on in the back." - Jeff
"Does it matter that there's a hole?" - Ms D "Why wouldn't the area leak out?" - Dustin
"Ow, my flower shot me with its pistil!" - Dustin
"Flowers can't smell... they stink nice." - Ms D
"Your quiz tomorrow..." - Ms D "Is gonna suck?"
"If I have cancer, I'm going to, like, eat a grenade or something."
"There's no pi in there... you can't live without pi."
"'...and the angle between them is 'circle with a dash through it.''" - Jeff
"What I decided to do for your final exam..." - Ms D "Pizza party!" "You guessed it!" - Ms D
"Fifteen to thirty... six." "Fifteen to thirty seven, actually."
"You save the best for first, right?"
"You ever get shot?" "Yeah, I got shot twice, killed once." - Ms D
"I can't understand what answers you have, Jeff... I believe you would get no points for that." - Ms D
"The third derivative gives us jerk." - Ms D "You're a third derivative."
"I don't watch South Park... I think it undermines authoritative figures."
"If you look at the graph of that, isn't it one of those bird things?" - Ms D
"It's not dumb, it's something we need to know." - Ms D
"I can't leave that y there." - Ms D "Why?"
"You can factor out a 2." "No, 'cause it's a 3."
"Cody will graduate, and he'll never have been taught how to eat an Oreo." - Ms D
"How do you set something equal to 'undefined'?" - Jeff
"Can you lose in this game?" "Yeah, you can." - Ms D "Let's try."
"Yeah, but they said a moment of silence for her." "They 'said' a moment of silence?"
"This isn't going to work out very nicely 'cause I made it up." - Ms D
"'Pick the point we're thinking of...'" - Jeff
"Fine, Mr. Check-my-answers-in-the-back-of-the-book."
"We got landfills we have to fill with trash."
"Some coaches can take chicken and make chicken salad." - Ms D
"Look forward to that on the test." - Ms D "The 3-day test."
"That one's easy, you can do that." - Ms D "But it has the word 'orthogonals' in it."
"You interrupted me erasing the board." - Ms D "Maybe you should have done it right the first time."
"...all that work for zero. All that work for nothin'." - Ms D
"That test is gonna suck." "I think it's going to be a good time. Good fun." - Jeff
"Some people aren't math people... I don't know how they can live with themselves, but..." - Ms D
"Maybe people wouldn't be suspicious if you weren't pinching each other and throwing each other off cliffs."
"I call it 'dinch.'" - Jeff "It actually has to start with an L." - Drew "Okay, then I call it 'chindin.'" - Jeff
"Have you done every problem in every book?" "Yeah, mhmm..." - Ms D
"I've almost started, okay?"
"The goal is for you to know what the particle is doing when the particle is doing crap." - Jeff
"If we wanted to use algebra and get it wrong, we could find the vertex, but if we wanted to demonstrate our knowledge of calculus..." - Ms D
"It would suck if on the ACT you got all the answers right, but you had to pick which way to do them..." - Dustin "What?" - Ms D "He's not making any sense, ignore him."
"On this quiz that we took last... seems like a year ago." - Ms D
"...we must go inside the curve.." - Video "What?" - Class
"You can use your calculator to find the derivative." - Ms D "You can use your calculator?... I'll ask Seth." - Eric "Seth didn't take calculus, dear." - Ms D
"This line means 'divide,' right?"
"Hohdee hi minus heidi ho over hoho." - Ms D
"If you're flying, you're really stoned."
"'Dustin, we notice you've been barking in your sleep...'"
"Oh, so that means we can start using the shortcut!" "Heh heh heh, no." - Ms D
"I think this may be -- I don't know what that one is."
"Is that right?... You don't think so?" - Ms D "No, 'cause Dustin did it."
"If I had a son--" - Dustin "No, you are not having kids."
"Ms. D, there's a green, gooey substance on that seat." - Jeff
"I thought that it was hilarious you were arguing your point in a ketchup outfit. 'But wait, but wait...'" - Drew
"So if she helped you, you should understand how to do it." - Ms D "[nods head no] I didn't understand what she was saying." - Dustin "He's not very, uh..."
"I'm going to be in the center of garlic when I move."
"You forgot the t. Actually, you forgot a few letters in there."
"After 17 years of coaching, I finally decided that I didn't need to coach to afford to teach." - Ms D
"You guys are about as bad as my 6th hour class... I referred to them yesterday as a pile of dead crickets." - Ms D
"So one plus a big number is an even bigger number."
"Any time a team scores less points than the other team, they probably didn't win." - Jeff
"I can't believe you guys haven't given me crap about that." "I was going to, I kept forgetting."
"I got in trouble for calling that a dolly this summer. It's actually a 'two-wheeled cart.'" - Dustin
"'The exact decimal'? There's no such thing, it's irrational." - Ms D
"What is this the graph of? Nothing." - Ms D
"How come it's not counted as a game if it's a game?" - Ms D "That's a good question, we don't know." - Drew
"I feel threatened." - Dustin "You should feel stupid." - Ms D
"Compounded continuously is like 'poet' with a silent r." - Dustin
"My wallet was just ejected from my pants." - Jeff
"The guy delivering the bread was cute." - Ms D
"I have a 62-centimeter meter stick... just like the 2-meter meter stick." - Ms D
"What would be really cool is if we had a white board up here." - Ms D "Or if we had the correct time." "Or if I had my watch... it's okay, you can check you cell phone for the time... don't do it." - Ms D
"In blue with my black pen."
"Somebody walk on my back." "I hope nobody walks in important." - Ms D
"What's the shortcut for squaring this?" - Ms D "Not doing it." - Seth
"For my reasoning can I just write, 'Don't be stupid'?" - Seth
"Do you just do that, da, dada, dada, and that?"
"Everyone goes 5 over [the speed limit]. That's like the buffer." - Seth
"I think that this class should go to the school board and make a case about everything that's wrong with this school." - Cody
"We shouldn't have that program. If you fail, you fail." - Seth
"There you go thinking you're unique and your spring break starts before everyone else's." - Ms D
"Don't mess with that... that's for my chalkaphobiac." - Ms D
"Three AP classes... I would never do that. It kills your life." - Cody
"It's called 'we don't do that,' which is why we lose every freaking year." - Cody
"Do you often take your chair for a walk?" - Ms D
"Why don't we move band to last hour?" - Cody "Because he's god." - Ms D
"We're exploring this." - Ms D "That's retarded 'cause it would never happen." - Seth
"I'm not very high functioning today." - Ms D "Maybe you need some food. Let's go get some." - Seth
"Apple pie's the... awesome." - Seth
"Matt, you have a weird fascination with being a turtle."
"What kind of cake were you going to make?" - Ms D "The one with the fun dots in it."
"Ms. D, do you need your speakers?"
"He's gonna beat me with a ruler stick!" - Seth
"I liked when the history projects used to be over here so we could see how the up-and-coming parents were." - Ms D
"Why are people running at me?" - Person in hall "Because you're very run-at-able." - Other person in hall
"A push up. That's like a waste of ten seconds of your life." - Seth
"Maybe that's why it doesn't work, because you don't know which one it is."
"Hold this, I'm going to go try everything else on in another store."
"He gets a stipend for jazz band, a stipend for marching band, a stipend for fricking band..." - Ms D
"There's no way I'm going to be able to sit there and not go in the clothes."
"I hope somebody has the balls to move band to 8th hour..." - Ms D
"Hazing. Hazing would help." - Seth
"My sister's about ready to kill my nephew if he doest make a decision [about where he will go to college]. She's gonna kill him." - Ms D
"Someone walk on my back."
"Then they buy those trash little black ones that don't even erase." - Ms D
"It looks like it should be able to erase that whole column, right?... No! Because three inches is missing!" - Ms D
"...everyone would be not watching the game and pissing me off." - Cody
"Lynsie, I can't wait until you realize that everything that we do in high school doesn't matter." - Seth
"Britney, she's out there rootin' around in the snow drifts, findin' poopsicles." - Ms D
"Because when you poop, there's undigested particles in there. [Schides walks in]" - Ms D
"We could make it two days." - Seth "No. We'll make it one day and you can't use your calculator." - Ms D
"Do we need to do another one?" - Cody "No. Screw it." - Seth "Good attitude." - Ms D
"Those are like moon boots dude, but, like, hardcore."
"Fisher, you're so fat." "I know, I want Cody's cupcake." - Eric
"I'm so fat 'cause of math class." - Cody
"My mom doesn't like me eating."
"We don't call it that anymore because we're in grown-up trigonometry now." - Ms D
"Ew, I'm sitting on it." "That's disgusting."
"It doesn't stain or anything. That's the only stuff that my mom lets me have downstairs." - Willy
"They'll just put their name for the answers they don't know." - Ms D
"When you get out into the work world, you're going to run into a psychopath and they're going to kill you." - Cody
"Read that [English paper] and then tell me you can even complain anymore. 'Cause you can't." - Cody
"It's not Jewish... it's Christian salsa."
"Catherine, did you pick out all the double chips?... I bet I find another one." - Ms D
"Last but not least..." - Ms D "And then food?" - Catherine
"Not when they have dull blade. There were some bushes in front of my house. I got mad at them..." - Ms D
"I don't wanna wear shoes i this class." "I don't wanna learn."
"Are you guys paying attention?... no, you're not." - Ms D
"They just turn on a faucet somewhere else."
"I think I developed arthritis from that test. It sucked." - Seth
"Look at how old this book is, look at those Ferraris."
"'Cause you always do. That's the grown-up way of doing it." - Ms D
"Did you tell first hour to tell us that?" "No... they're such snots." - Ms D
"That's its limit. Screw it, I don't care." - Seth
"e to the negative one, are you retarded?" - Seth
"There's an error. Cody, tell me why there's an error." - Seth
"Why can't you?" - Ms D "'Cause I'm lazy." - Seth "Okay, I don't want to hear about it, then." - Ms D
"I don't want anybody to lose a kidney over, you know, pre-cal. I don't think it's worth it." - Ms D
"2c. What's this limit jazz?" - Seth "We've gone over limit jazz." - Ms D
"It's 7.5%, I just did it."
"It doesn't matter." "It does to me."
"They screwed up. They screwed up bad."
"I hate that stupid class. I'm going to take as less of it as I can." - Cody
"I'm going to get the gold plan for meals, the one that has like eight meals a day." - Seth
"It's so comfy... like, I sleep on it, and now it's in my shoes."
"He knows well good in fact that this is my seat. I've claimed it forever." - Cody
"I hate that guy. He's taken away like every cool thing there was in this school." - Seth "It's him that's done it." - Cody
"You can have [my rolly chair] for five minutes." - Cody "Okay. In five minutes I can get across the border." - Seth
"Did we have to do that last year?" - Seth "No, shut up and pay attention!" - Cody
"Cody's getting surgery?" "I don't know what's going on with the kid."
"Does annual mean yearly?"
"December's all about me."
"Probably because I left the room and then got disoriented and forgot."
"Unless Epiphany gets into a bus accident on the way there, we have no way to win... so our game plan is to foul a lot." - Ms D
"You're going shopping. Girls, we're going shopping." - Saurby
"We're going to take that inflation rate and make it like -33... pay like $5 for my kid to go to college." - Seth
"To spend that much money to go to school. That's retarded." - Seth
"She's at a curriculum meeting for the school." "They didn't tell me about that." - Saurby
"You have to pay half a million a year to go to college?" - Seth "Yes." - Saurby "My kid's not going to college." - Seth
"There he is, mister tan man."
"Mine says 'overflow.'" "Yeah, that's too much money."
"I'm a perfectionist, I should know... it's off by about two millimeters."
"The first one was luck, but that one's an ellipses."
"Him is not here at the moment."
"We talked about that pretty extensively in class yesterday... to the point where I finished it out for you." - Ms D
"Pork stir fry... I would guess that the meat in that might be dog." - Ms D
"What's your class rank?" - Ms D "I guess it doesn't matter anymore, does it?" - Seth "I don't think we've ever had a person in the top 10% go to an alternative school." - Ms D
"I thought you said you were getting 'six back,' not a 'six pack.'" - Catherine "Catherine, are you drinkin'?"
"I don't chew gum... plus it ruins the flavor." "Which is not a bad thing if it's a school lunch."
"It's not a parabola. It's not anything."
"I can't stand food in the morning." - Catherine "That's what breakfast is, Catherine."
"I went... it was crazy... I don't know, I don't remember much of it, but yeah, I think so." - Seth
"...and have one massive Halloween party."
"My engine got flooded in English. She tried to prime it too much." - Seth
"The vertex. So we need to find the vertex of that thing."
"Parents are sneaky. You're supposed to trust 'em and everything but no, not really." - Ms D
"Does it have like a definite shape to it?" - Ms D "It's rock-shaped." "It is. It's, like, a rock."
"15, you just make up some numbers..." - Ms D
"You take Calculus 2, Calculus 3, Calculus 4, then you take linear algebra, then you go on to abstract algebra..." - Ms D "Then you quit college." - Seth
"Logs are fun... dude, yeah." - Ms D
"Because we use grown-up notation." - Ms D
"How do you step on my foot when you're sitting in a desk?"
"I'm tired of that class. Why is it required?" - Cody
"Mrs. Bone gave me some cough drops 'cause I was coughing my head off." - Ms D
"Whatever one you want, just bring it back to life..." - MC Bride
"Fog gof foh hof... it's a new language." "It would make more sense than English." - Cody
"You are eating in the bottomless pit class. You know that, right?"
"It smells like that chicken noodle crap." "Don't talk about food." - Catherine "Sorry."
"That's ridiculous. I'm getting like 5 answers every time I do it." - Ms D
"I am fine every day until we go to English... sleeping gas in the English department." - Cody
"This class is so much better than English." - Cody
"'Cause it's infinite. Once you start you just can't stop." - Seth "Oh, I want Pringles!" - Catherine
"How do I solve this for y?" - Ms D "Very carefully."
"I still don't get the 'all real numbers.'" "Infinity." - Seth "I still don't get it." "It's the name of a car." - Seth
"What is that and why is it in here?... It's gonna get stuck to my foot."
"Do something with that other than that, or that, or that, or that..." - Ms D
"That's what that's for; it's so you can put one of those explosive things in there."
"Those are mine... you're playing with my cards. (stops playing with them) You're touching my cards. (drops them)" - Ms D
"Theorems drive me mad." - Lynsie "That's a short drive for you, Bane." - Ms D
"He doesn't understand that he's not Flash Gordon." - Ms D
"Did you write him up?" "He's a freshman. We have to." - Ms D
"Who needs friends when you've got a calculator? Crap, where is mine?" - Catherine
"I have no sympathy for people who are stupid around power tools." - Cody
"She wrote more on my essay than I did." - Cody
"Well some of this is good. See, this one is good."
"What's PV?" "I don't know, but she marked off for it a lot." - Cody "What's VT?"
"We've learned all of that stuff by now. That's not the stuff we're getting reamed for." - Cody
"This isn't even AP Lit, this is just English 4." - Cody
"Keep it in your pocket, Wagner. This isn't makeup class." - Ms D
"Freshmen are to be seen and not heard." - Ms D
“Everybody smells good; unless you have something wrong with your nose.” - Ms D “You're weird.”
“Too bad I can't quote Springer's sound effects...” - Me
“Every night we have a math problem from hell. Tonight, it's number 12 that's the math problem from hell.” - Me
“It lets me make my handwriting more colorful.” - Me
"What the heck is a short ton?"
"Does that have anything to do with what he's doing?"
“Why does he have an Apple sticker on his calculator?”
"Man, this'll take forever to make shiny." - Dylan
"And it's not coming out on the eraser; I mean, on the calculator." - Dylan
"I'm chopping down a rock..."
"Yay, the shiny stuff is coming out." - Dylan
"...and every time it goes wacko it loses track of time. And that's it's job." - Dylan
"Ok, it is now shiny." - Dylan
"Have you ever tried putting pantyhose on your head? Oh wait, you have." - Dylan
"Don't touch my pen. And don't write that down!" - Dylan
"I'm tricking out my calculator." - Dylan
"A new form of Yahtzee, it's called Nahtzee!" - Dylan
"[theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey]"
"So that's what that tune is from!" - Dylan
“On with geometry.”
“Jake, you gotta' believe.”
“Your what club?”
“Can I do it again?”
"See; it's shaking." "Not as bad as when you do it." "I've done it better."
“Don't you talk to your brother ever? ... Well he went.”
“There will be bonfires galore.”
“We will send out our own signal.”
“It's an anger problem. Just look at the little snowman; it'll make you feel better." - Taylor
“You came from moron.”
“Well, that sucks.”
“Well then I would have laughed.”
“And you can use the table on page 311.” - Taylor
“How come a proportion is not working?”
“And usually I only wash my shirts every 3 or 4 months...”
“Mr. Corn... He's a colonel... And he ears everything you say.” - Ms D
“One of their rooms is an octagon, and another of their rooms is a trapezoid... Actually, it's an octagonal...” - Ms D
“I want my boards cleaned." - Ms D
“I wonder what I did.”
“You need to stretch, Springer?”
“I'll bet it'll be on tomorrow's pop quiz.”
“Am I busy right now Jake? Oh, it looks like I am. Son of a gun.” - Ms D
“No, I can't. I'm stupid like that.”
“I don't have my real glasses.”
“They paid an artist dearly for that.” - Ms D
"I can't keep my eyes off the no-dimensional figures. Can you see them?" - Dylan
"We are we are... 5th hour."
"Dude, I get my license 5 days before homecoming. After." - Dustin
"I know where you're going with this because you made that car."
"Yummy is not."