Physics
"What are amps measured in?"
"Is that a fly swatter?" "It's a spatula."
"I don't like the title of this page." "What does it say?" - Mullins "'Calculating Things.'"
"It was educational gibber."
"Did you get some cool mail?" - Nalley "Yeah, I got the dissection guides for the sharks... sweet." - Binksi
"It's like a duck in water." "The duck will move." "No it won't!"
"I'll sit right here with my back to Willy and Jake..." - Mullins "We have knives now." - Willy
"Have you ever had a blister upon a blister?" "What, are you a poet?"
"Children with meter sticks, good God." - Mullins
"Why is it theory and not fact? It's because of that damn quantum mechanics, isn't it?" - Hasselbring
"You can keep your little birthday party in a jar for as long as you like." - Mullins
"Turn it up." "It makes funky noises." - Mullins
"If we're good tomorrow, can I have my bouncy ball back?" "No, if we're good tomorrow, I want money." - Willy
"I'll be like, 'I don't agree with that,' and you'll be like, 'in the hall, Willy,' and I'll be like, 'yeah'... and then I'll hold up the money you gave me." - Willy
"That's linear motion, too, and that's not happening tomorrow." - Mullins
"Can I have that? 'Cause that chair's about as comfortable as it gets."
"Does that make sense? Why is there a kid outside the window?" - Mullins "You want me to go kill him?" - Willy
"What's the speed of the lights?" - Mullins "Faster than... people."
"You don't understand. If you had to sit in there, you'd die. It's death." - Sabrina
"Ever since I had that last detention, I haven't yelled any racial slurs for a while." - Willy
"I'm gonna bring in my blanket bunny tomorrow."
"'Arbitrary'? What, are we in AP lit? I think she's trying to talk over our heads." - Shep
"What's happening next Tuesday? Not that conversation." - Mullins
"Okay, here's more rules for when the principal comes. No soda, no iPods when the principal's here..." - Mullins
"We can probably put the music on when the principal's in here, 'cause that will make me look cool." - Mullins
"If you're sideswiped by a semi, you'll stick."
"Is it hard? Can I complain?"
"Do what she says. She's dressed nicely." - Shep
"Sammy's favorite color is pinkblack." - Shep
"I'm going to try these demonstrations that probably won't work, but the principal's not here, so it doesn't matter." - Mullins
"He steals animals like no other... he distracts people... he told me to talk to this guy, and I did, and he came back with this massive bear." - Nalley
"Don't use big words that the boys can't understand." - Shep
"The Cookie Monster could not be that coherent."
"I didn't know the Cookie Monster was that profound."
"You're not allowed to use swear words in school. You're supposed to use those out of school."
"We have all of the variables we need to fill in our Chinese equation." - Mullins
"Usually linemen are like 800 pounds and they just roll over."
"Microsoft Works clip art thinks Jack was black."
"I don't even know where Big Dog is." "Big Dog doesn't even know where he is."
"This looks boring; you used 'analysis' up there." - Shep
"With me being ahead of Benter, I don't think I'm going to teach anymore." - Mullins
"The day after that's a half day, so I don't really care what we do." - Mullins
"This is a weird carrot. It feels like tofu."
"She hasn't told me about how she met her husband." "She stole him. Don't say 'met.'" - Shep
"He's like, 'man, I'm gettin' pulled by a paper clip and a man here.'"
"They all rolled one pant leg up. It was not a club I wanted to join."
"We're doing the second law last because that's the mathy one." - Mullins
"He was being creepy weird."
"Heroin." - Willy "Did you just say 'heroin'?" - Mullins "I did." - Willy
"Mind if we get a drink?" "Yeah, while we're bootin'?"
"Did you hear that beep?" "That was the bomb I placed up there." - Willy
"I think you should piss off Mrs. Mullins more often. I like these cookies."
"A crying-flying duck-squirrel with a bushy arrow tail." - Sabrina
"That looks like a duck with an arrow in its butt."
"It's the coffee that he spilled." "Good, so I didn't spill anything important." "Just DNA."
"I don't like angry homework." "I only like homework that was made with love."
"I am at least four years older than most of you." - Mullins
"How many times do I have to tell you? You are not mentally retarded."
"What is dir'n?" "It's Ebonics for direction."
"...whenever I'm in this class I have the urge to throw something at Shepard."
"I like Elmo better." "It's Ernie's twin brother."
"Any questions on the homework?" - Mullins "Is it nap time yet?"
"Do you guys prefer it when I blab about it or when you put it up?" - Mullins
"It doesn't seem safe." - Mullins "Well that's why it's fun."
"I think I gained like 10 pounds." - Mullins "So now you weigh like what, 10 pounds?" - Shep
"Is it a ghetto lab?" "No, I'm trying to do it Benter's method that involves unnecessary fire." - Mullins
"We're having class... Go away. Shut the door. Do heroin." - Willy
"I bet if somebody shoved him off a cliff he'd fly."
"You guys have some Gatorade problems in this class." - Mullins
"You don't want to show that one..." "But I have another one where he's; never mind."
"Willy; at least let me pretend I'm teaching." - Mullins
"It would kind of make an arc and then start falling. Oh, I'm sorry, never mind."
"It's erase-the-board time, which takes like 5 minutes." - Mullins "Back to bed..." - Shep "I have a fairly embarrassing story." - Mullins "We're paying attention now." - Shep
"Why are you still speaking?" "Yeah, we're trying to sleep over here." "What happened to the first two weeks of school when he just slept?" - Mullins
"You steal my thunder every day in this class... let me have some thunder." - Mullins
"You know the guy I talked to who said to hell with you guys?... as long as you learn enough to get through Great America, you're fine." - Mullins
"Can't we just change this class into, like, not physics?" "I think it already is 'not physics.'" - Mullins
"Kyle was nowhere to be found on this test."
"I'm running on 3 and a half hours of sleep." "That's 'cause you're an idiot and didn't do your homework." "Yep."
"Tomorrow we may be doing a lab that's going to be very ghetto." - Mullins
"We never finished looking at your photo album." "We'll do that when I finish not teaching this." - Mullins
"Are we going to do any other crazy equations that I don't know?"
"You can't say he walked 5 square roots of 5 meters. Who talks like that?" - Mullins "Calculus students."
"It all tastes like pretzel with crap in the center."
"I'm going to go get a Gatorade and take like 20 minutes." - Willy
"I get caught twice and you guys say it all the time." - Nalley "That's because you have red hair... she listens to your red hair."
"These are completely illegal overheads again." - Mullins
"...'cause I called him retarded. There you go, 150 frickin' times." - Nalley
"You can say you're f-in' pissed, I don't care." - Mullins
"This punishment is not meant to get you pissed off." - Mullins
"No! No, no, no. That's so bad. You're gonna' get shot." - Mullins
"Willy, be responsible with your protractor." - Mullins "I'm tryin' to cut myself with it." - Willy
"You s'posed to be doin' sumthin'?" - Mouser "No, it's physics."
"How are you doing?... you look like you're going to die." - Mullins "I'm good." - Sabrina "We're going to Heartland next." - Shep "I'm gonna' die." - Sabrina
"Do you have the talking pen?" "Well I have a talking pencil so leave me alone." - Mullins
"That's funny, you put a gap between con and nect. That's kind of, uh..." "Ironic?"
"If any of you guys are drunk, you're not going to do well on your physics test." - Mullins
"Become vague... 'I like strings.'" - Willy
"I didn't know you could recycle homeless people." - Willy
"You would be going slow, you see the homeless guy, and speed up." - Willy
"To Hell with it!" - Teacher at other school about our physics class
"I don't understand; it worked perfectly at the seminar." - Mullins