Lunch, Before, and After School, Anywhere
"Matt shot a squirrel on the way back." - Dylan "What? Why? With what? How?" - Erik "Wouldn't you like to know." - Dylan "I would; that's why I asked..." - Erik
"You can blame me... I'll be your Canada."
"You always get bad looks in this car. If it's a Grand Prix, it's always a race."
"Man, I wish I had two good looking girls come to buy me gas like that." "One if them is your girl!"
"We are a very intelligent group. We've been educated goodly."
"Some of you would say, 'oh, that's just not the way God made me.'...is that how you pay your bills? You can't call up Nicor and say, 'you know, I don't really like this paying a bill every month thing, I'd rather pay whenever I feel like it.' You'll be doing 'how God made you' in the dark and in the cold this winter."
"Now, you say, 'what if I miss a day?' Well, if you miss a meal you don't quit, do you?"
"Just remember, I'm watching you." - Knuty
"What's your problem?" - Mr. Pearson "I don't exist." - Student
"Yo, I drive a bucket!" "there is a walrus who would like to talk to you, when you have a moment…"
"Oh my gosh!" - Kelsey "Okay, okay, calm down. Were you using Firefox or Internet Explorer?" - Spencer "Internet Explorer." - Kelsey "Well then you're fucked." - Spencer
"If I were to hypothetically give you a cupcake..." - Benter
"Where's Benter?... I need to tell him that Mr. McBride has his explosives."
"How long would it take for some... acid to melt through a piece of aluminum foil?" - David "How big is it?" - B "Um, about this big." - David "Not very long." - B "Okay. That'll probably be going off soon. [leaves]." - David
"The banana that has AIDS."
"[Playing Halo] Pink!... We'll be pink. Show this to no one." - Shane
"We're going to stuff you like a... like a Casimir Pulaski Day turkey!"
"I'm not gonna have 30 of our FFA members running around doing stuff illegal in the halls." - Mr. Hoffman
"I always get worried when you come in here with David, because I know that he's going to do something extra dumb that he wants you to come along to see." "Actually, no, we just need something." - Me "Um, do you have a large spade we could borrow?" - David
"Gengis Khan, and we can too!" - The Seven Dwarves of Improvisism
"You better be glad I'm helping you... if the Tarot cards hadn't told me to, I wouldn't give a damn." - Zach
"I will be hacked off... you guys have assignments due." - MC Bride
"'What dimension did you go to?' 'All of them.'" - Zach
"I love you. Even though you won't date me." "I'll date you."
"He's so small and creepy like that."
"Amy, I love you!" "I think I have those sweatpants." - Amy
"You should take me to The Phantom of the Opera." - Girl "Heh, wha? That's 95 bucks a ticket." - Guy
"Name something that starts with I that you might find in a hospital." - Gibbs "Ice cream?" "Comma, medicinal."
"Name a greeting that does not need words, besides a handshake." - Mrs. Pearson "Um... I don't know... uh... pound it, big dawg!" - Shelbi
"Can I have a piece of paper? I accidentally spit my gum out on the ground." - Mouser
"I saw the devil buying skis..."
"It looks like you're glazing with a vengeance." - Art Student Teacher
"Not 'pencils,' 'prentzels.'"
"Are you stealing that?" - Mouser "I got it from the cabinet..." - Me "You're stealing that." - Mouser "Okay. [walks off with LCD monitor]" - Me
"Did you pay for that?" - Mouser "Yeah. Why?" - poor freshman "I don't know, I just ask everybody that." - Mouser
"Those are freaking awesome. I see them in the distance and I get so happy for no reason." - Kelsey
"Hey Dylan. I'd know those eyebrows anywhere." "Especially if they were dancing." - Dylan
"Why would you flatulate right in the middle of a conversation?"
"I love you Zach." - Jessica "That's very nice. Goodbye now." - Zach
"They're in the middle of a damn dream, shut up."
"Everyone at this table needs to get a new outlook on life."
"Victoria has no secrets since she started having advertisements."
"You sucked my paper."
"But the food is making me fat."
"Colton hasn't killed me yet. Oh, crap." - Peter
"I have like drunken glasses on all the time."
"So the hot tub was cooler than the pool."
"That'll be the biggest Jello-pudding-Kool-Aid-wrestling-thing ever."
"You my not friend are insane." - Dylan
"If you want ten dollars the preps and rich people are over there."
"But everything moves whenever I'm not moving."
"You got some magic, you know, heat-seeking piss." - Zach
"I'm going to throw this away. And then I'm going to return and say lewd things." - Zach
"If you went to an alien school, this would be a special kid." - Zach
"I'm never the same person I always was. Am. Are, is, q..."
"Aliens have retards too."
"I want to have a margarita with blood and chicken... it would be called a Mexican cockfight and it would be wonderful." - Zach
"Nobody knows how to duplicate my mannerisms. [rubs chest]" - Zach
"Don't touch her, dude, she's going to explode."
"The black hole is pissed. Move."
"No, no, no, no, no, not fail; mildly do not so good." - Erik
"Well that was loud and pointless, just like everything else I do." - Zach
"Erika, do you have your band shirt?" - Georgi "No." - Erika "What the hell? Jesus Christ!... Is our savior." - Georgi
"We better get the hell out of here before they make us clean this up."
"I could go for a tasty beverage."
"You are rocking out a little bit too hard." - Guitar Hero
"Well, now that I've voted, I'm a real man. Where's my Fruit Roll Up?!?"
"I'm complaining here and you guys won't listen to me."
"How was your day?" "Fine." "Did you learn anything?" "No." "What happened today?" "Nothing." "What did you have for lunch?" "Chicken patty."
"This turkey's, like, holy..." "Holy turkey?" "...I don't know what the hell is wrong with it."
"Let me put a dollar figure on this; we have spent a lot of money..."
"Get your feet off of my couch." "Welcome to my house."
"Ring of steel at six-o'clock!"
"Cincinnati hotplate."
"When you can't cry... cut yourself." - The Brak Show
"That night, the following sounds were heard." "[crash, bang, power tools...]" - The Brak Show
"Gee, this is sure a nice tank. Where'd you get it?" "I told you, it was free."
"How do you know he's bad?" "How do you know I care?"