Nattgew

"It's a short lecture, and that's probably a good thing, seeing as more than one of you is giving me the 'it's the middle of the week and I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open' look." - Physics teacher
"If we ever had a question, we'd turn around and ask one of the Chinese students... last thing you want to do is ask an American... spelling and grammar... go ask a Chinese student." - Physics teacher
"The philosophy of science... you have to be good at philosophy and good at science... those are small groups to begin with." - Physics teacher
"There isn't one model that accurately predicts the properties of light. I had a roommate that told me that quantum field theory did, but I didn't make it that far. That's, like, crazy far." - Physics teacher
"If it doesn't make a lot of sense to me, and I teach it, you guys have no hope... good luck on that one." - Physics teacher
"Let's take a break. We need a break before the propagation of light. It's crazy in the best of times." - Physics teacher
"It has the same relationship to x, y, and z. Shawn, how are we doing with that?" - Math teacher  "Um, I'm just going to think about it. A lot." - Shawn
"Uh, are 2 and 1 going to cancel?" - Student  "Good question. No." - Physics teacher  "Can we pretend that they do?" - Other student
"It's really hard for your bridge to be in equilibrium if the left side of the bridge is moving." - Engineering teacher
"You know you guys some time ago talked to my boss? I haven't seen him since." - Engineering teacher
"Math people like to see root 2. Engineers and physics people do not." - Engineering teacher
"You can just say that they are zero-force members. I don't feel the need for you to explain that. Just don't be wrong." - Engineering teacher
"If we look at the truss as a whole, we don't want it to start accelerating, and we don't want it to start rotating." - Engineering teacher
"You look at the chapter 6 homework and you see all these criss-cross bridge sections. That's chapter 6. Yay!" - Engineering teacher
"Did you collect the homework?" - Student  "I usually don't formally collect it anymore. It should show up here sometime by the end of class." - Engineering teacher
"Excellent, that's only 5 unknowns, that should be easy." - Engineering teacher
"I'm trying to be consistent with notation." - Engineering teacher  "They're more strict about that in calc." - Student  "Yeah, math people are more uptight. If I were teaching you math, I wouldn't let you get away with that crap." - Engineering teacher.
"Ohh, I've been avoiding coming over today. It's bed of nails day." - Physics teacher
"What do you mean 'small?' It's either an angle or it isn't! 'Well, it's small enough to be almost zero, but if it's zero, we can't do the problem, so it's big enough to be there, but not big enough to matter.' And I'm like, y'all are just crazy." - Physics teacher
"Physics do yes, good. Physics do no, that's ok. Physics do so-so, [squish]." - Physics teacher
"You guys are welcome to come up and try. It's harder than it looks." - Physics teacher  "Everything is in this class." - Student
"It's cold out!" - Student  "It is not cold in the sun." - Other student  "I am not liking this whole cold weather change." - Student
"The old monitors had that degauss; what is that?" - Student  "It's the magnetic equivalent to hitting it with a hammer." - Physics teacher
"In particular, how will this affect your immediate lives as homework-solving problem-doers?" - Physics teacher
"Why don't they do it in Atlanta where they already have an Olympic park?" - A student  "Good question. Because they're still paying it off." - B Student
"I don't ever want to see minus x or minus y or minus z on your paper... what's minus a screwdriver? Anybody know?" - Math teacher
"Five hamburgers minus $7... You can make the x whatever you want it to be. There's five of 'em." - Math teacher
"The opposite of having $3 is what? Not having $3. Hello!" - Math teacher
"Did you pay a lot of money for the tickets?" - Teacher  "Yes." - A student  "More than she spent on a washer and dryer." - B student  "Shut up!" - A student
"Fine, I'll just walk." - A student  "You're an adult, call a taxi." - B student
"I totally forget about giving you guys exams, so thanks for reminding me." - Math teacher
"I should just know that... don't tell any of the math people I don't know this." - Physics teacher
"Most engineers have to take a CAD class to learn how to draw stuff. Physics people just doodle on the backs of napkins." - Physics teacher
"Germany was shelling London. And they kept missing. And they're like, 'What the hell, man? Speed and angle!'" - Physics teacher
"'Huge' being if you screw up with one of those things, they'll pretty much vaporize you." - Physics teacher
"So the book just did it that way because the equation looks nice?" - Student  "Yeah." - Physics teacher
"Mathematically that's correct... but this isn't math class." - Physics teacher  "We're still saying math is wrong in this situation." - Student  "No, we're saying we don't need it." - Physics teacher
"She did magic in math. I about died when she did that... I stopped listening for the rest of the day." - Student
"Masters in medical physics.  Starting salary $97,000.  Very large demand.  Very low supply.  No tax dollars.  Medical dollars!" - Physics teacher
"Engineers have the potential to make good money, and lots of it.  Physicists, no.  They do very similar stuff, but no." - Physics teacher
"I've always thought it would be cool to put a water barometer out in the lobby, but when you do that, you start to interfere with the 'architectural interest' of the building.  Nevermind that we're a science and technology building, but I won't go there." - Physics teacher
"It's in the male genes... if you can do it with a 1 gallon can, you can do it with a 55 gallon drum." - Physics teacher
"That's  just one of those cute physics stories... you know, 'fuzzy little duckling' kind of cute." - Physics teacher
"Hey, Isaiah!" - Student  "Did you just call me Isaiah?" - Isaac
"I got like a 30." - Student 1 "Did he write 'get help?'" - Student 2  "No... but he thought about writing 'you're fucking retarded.'" - Student 1
"So we can start bringing our calculators again?" - Student  "You can start bringing your calculators again." - Math teacher  "Sweet, I was having withdrawal." - Student
"We have to say something stronger than 'we think so.'" - Math teacher
"[phone rings] Sorry." - Student 1  "It's ok.  It would have been better if it was some crazy ringtone.  I would have respected you more." - Student 2
"If we integrate this side, we get a series for arctan." - Math teacher  "Why?" - Student
"Is that the calc book?" - Student 1  "Yeah, it's the calc book, with weird people, and French." - Student 2
"Why would you want to do the root test?  You can't." - Student
"We're almost done, guys." - Math teacher  "There's like 3 different letters in there that mean nothing to me.  Plus there's a limit, good lord." - Student
"It fails." - Math teacher  "So why did we just do it?" - Student  "Because, folks, you're going to have tests fail, so you need to see it happen." - Math teacher
"You take out the constant 10 thirds, and change the square root of n cubed to n to the 3 halves." - Student 1  "Bam!  You've got to end it like that; forcefully." - Student 2  "That's it?" - Student 3  "Yeah, that's why its bam!" - Student 1
"Hey, I don't want to hear your crap, man.  You're lucky I'm here.  This class would be nothing without me." - Student
"Oh, happy square root day!" - Math student
"[sneeze]" - Student 1  "Bless you?" - Student 2  "Thank you." - Student 1  "Is that a question?" - Student 3
"Have you seen our special physics stool?  This is military grade... $250 stool... you have to pay for that precision." - Physics teacher
"What's the good physics trick?" - Physics teacher  "Calculator." - Student  "The calculator's going to erp all over this." - Physics teacher
"So no new calc teachers to replace the old junky one?  I didn't mean that.  Maybe I did." - Student
"So you can go to the table.  Or you're welcome to integrate it from scratch... most people go to the table." - Physics teacher
"We're going to do a little bit of craziness to make things simple.  When you're doing craziness to make things simple, you know it's physics." - Physics teacher
"I was writing the Greek letters and someone raised his hand and said, 'That's not how you make a such-and-such.'  Sometimes the frat boys get on my case..."
"When in doubt, assume you're right.  My wife loves that about me.  Or it drives her nuts, I don't know." - Physics teacher
"We can cancel out the 2 dt's, which of course makes math people shudder, but that's ok, it's physics class." - Physics teacher
"He has this car we call the Banana Boat... it's the longest thing I've ever seen, and it has no crumple zones.  If it hits something, it's just going to demolish it." - Physics teacher
"You're going to be gentle this morning, right, since it's the first day back and all?" - Student  "No." - Physics teacher
"You did all that pain and suffering to learn calculus; we like to use it once in a while." - Physics teacher
"In my bad habit as a teacher, we started a problem and just went cool places with it; did we get anything they're asking for?" - Physics teacher
"It took me 40 hours to proof it... it's 340 pages long." - Physics teacher
"Don't lose your grasp on reality of how the world works... physics is just filling in with equations." - Physics teacher
"That's 13/4 minus 3 cosine theta.  Did we just improve that?  That's questionable at best." - Physics teacher
"Have we solved the world's energy crisis?... we just need more people to push off of walls on roller skates." - Physics teacher
"For the half of you that said you want to go into math, this is math." - Math teacher  "I'm in the wrong class." - Student
"...those are the conditions for taking the car out.  Was mine anyway, because I wrecked it three times in a row... you learn to drive on the farm, you do the same thing on the road." - Math teacher
"What kind of process would we have to go through to get you to teach this class?" - Student 1  "I'm taking a break from teaching calculus for personal and professional reasons." - Math teacher  "Oh, so you did this to us?" - Student 2
"Holy cow, handwriting we can read!  I'm sorry, I'm going to be cracking jokes all day." - Student  "That's ok, as long as I can crack them back." - Math teacher
"Please don't ask [your calculator] to go to infinity, it'll cook it pretty much." - Math teacher
"I have a lab." - Student 1  "What for?" - Student 2  "Um, as a companion?" - Student 1
"Engineers are notorious for not communicating the best people in the word.  i.e., see previous statement I just stated." - Physics teacher
"So they just make all the rules as they go along?" - Student  "Well, yes, as long as it works." - Math teacher
"And then you have a flat surface..." - Physics teacher  "There is no bowl." - Student
"Flip the bowl over and put the marble on top of it." - Physics teacher  "Well that's just stupid." - Student
"This is cool.  I don't know what it is, but it's frickin' sweet, dude." - Student
"If you move the marble, eventually it will..." - Physics teacher  "Die." - Student  "...hopefully that means not too violent a death." - Physics teacher
"If you have a Mustang that stomps on the gas... and gets up to 45... and you have... a Civic, we'll pick on Honda today, that starts rolling slowly... then they realize that the guy behind him is going to rear-end him, so he stomps on it..." - Physics teacher  "Well it depends on what kind of Civic.  If you have an SE, it's not going to be driven like that." - Student.
"Bend your legs, proper lifting technique.  I worked in a hospital for 3 years, got that beaten into me.  Blood borne pathogens?  Somehow escaped me." - Physics teacher
"They used it in calculus class and the teacher wasn't very happy... 'You what?'  'You dot the two.'  Like nails on a chalkboard... she thought about it for a while and got over it." - Physics teacher
"There's enough energy in this pen to level all of Bloomington/Normal, probably more..." - Physics teacher
"I have never liked the centripetal force and I have never taught the centripetal force.  Mostly because it's not real." - Physics teacher
"10 points for using all of the methods of integration." - Math teacher  "On one problem?" - Student  "No." - Teacher  "Good... don't even think about putting that one on there." - Student.
"It could be a decimal.  Or are we saying that infinity is most definitely a whole number?" - Student
"This will get nasty fast.  Gotta love physics that does that." - Physics teacher
"Can you see?  You guys can come closer.  My conceptual class doesn't come closer, I think they're afraid of me.  You're not afraid of me, are you?  Been a long time since I bit a student." - Physics teacher
"Knowledge is power.  You can use it for good and you can use it for bar bets." - Physics teacher
"We use trig sub." - Student 1  "We can't use trig sub... it already has trig shit in it." - Student 2
"Are you going to take Calc 3?" - Student 1  "If I can pass this." - Student 2
"We're doing mean, median, and mode... one girl raised her hand, and she's like, 'I don't get it.'" - Student 1  "Was her skin orange?... she was probably tanned beyond recognition." - Student 2
"Not in reals... it factors in complex, but, trust me, we don't want to go there." - Math teacher
"We could do it by trig sub." - Math teacher  "I hate trig sub." - Student
"Because she's picky... she counted off for not spacing my problems clearly... I clearly stated at the beginning of class that I needed one page." - Student
"She's not teaching from the book... there's no homework from the book... why would you have the $250 book?" - Student
"I got my book back and there was writing in it... I couldn't handle it... I had to get a new one." - Physics teacher  "I don't know what to say to that." - Student  "Nothing the counselor didn't." - Physics teacher
"You didn't answer the second one." - Student 1  "What did I put?" - Student 2  "'Umm...'" - Student 1
"We have to read four books and write a paper about them, and then write a paper about that paper.  We have to learn to play the Native American flute and play a song for him..." - Student on a class
"...and I'm left with something that looks suspiciously like last night's homework." - Math teacher
"Kathy was the reason for losing the notecards." - Physics teacher "Who's Cathy?" - Student "I don't know" - Other student
"The engineering department themselves designed the remodel... they split the rooms... one room had a heating duct and one room had a cooling duct." - Physics teacher
"Is there a real-life application to any of this?" - Student  "Yeah.  Periodic functions are very important... electricity?  Yeah." - Math teacher
"You must keep track of your dx's... it can't just evaporate and then magically reappear when you need it." - Math teacher
"I've got 4 unknowns, which means mathematically I need either hope or 4 equations." - Physics teacher
"I was never challenged by math.  So I took physics.  I was gone by test 3." - Physics teacher
"If you cruise through it... you're out of here in an hour-ten... you've got 10 thinking minutes on the test." - Physics teacher
"I'm national caliber in math.  That means I'm just really damn good at math... if I was a football player, I'd be playing for Florida State." - Physics teacher
"This is physics, it's all about the math." - Teacher  "Blah blah blah." - Student
"TIAA-Cref cannot be a Ponzi scheme... a lot of teachers would be totally hosed." - Chemistry teacher
"This isn't a bad thing.  If you know how to get the one solution you need out of the infinite number." - Physics teacher
"We can avoid using the quadratic equation, and any time we can avoid that, we want to avoid that like the plague." - Chemistry teacher
"If in doubt, set up a nice table.  That's the rule of thumb in this chapter." - Chemistry teacher
"I heard that you're a pretty good teacher." - Student  "Yeah, I had to pay for that... I bought some advertising." - Teacher
"Actually it wasn't really a snow day, it was just too damn cold outside." - Teacher
"'I had a 100-hour coma.' 'Oh, that's a good coma.'" - Student
"We'll get some fine, fine math abuse here." - Physics teacher
"[holding a ball] What's the speed of this ball?" - Physics teacher "Zero." - Class "Ooh.  Very fast.  Different lecture." - Physics teacher
"You've stopped rapping, does that mean your morale is low?" - English teacher
"It's more stable when its dirty." - Student 1 "I don't usually relate my room to entropy... 'ah, more stable!'" - Student 2
"I hope Mr. Muench doesn't show up." - Student 1 "What excuse does he have not to show up?" - Student 2 "Uh, he has a date?" - Student 1 "'He has a date?'" - Student 2
"If that guy didn't mess up, our curve would have been so much better... that's a 4% difference." - Student
"Why are these rounded squares?  I can't fill these out." - Student  "Uh, this is not philosophy class... did you get an 'unsatisfactory' in kindergarten when you colored outside the lines?" - Chemistry professor
"You will be responding to an article." - English professor "In 8 pages?" - Student 1 "Yes in 8 pages." - English professor "Hmm, 'Dear Penthouse...'" - Student 2
"This won't make a lot of sense to you.  That's ok, though, because. it doesn't make a lot of sense to me, either." - English professor, on the paper he is handing out
"Are we going to make chloroform ever?" - Student "No..." - Chemistry professor "Do you do that in organic?" - Student "No..." - Chemistry professor "What kind of class do you have to take to make that?" - Student
"The camel didn't go over quite as well as I hoped." - Student 1 "I'm telling you, we should have done the Godzilla." - Student 2
"I love chicken salad, too. I consider myself a connoisseur." - Student
"I finished my test and gave it to him, and while I was getting my stuff together, he started looking at it and laughing... you wait 'til I'm out of the room to do that." - Student
"The teacher always cusses when he doesn't know how to do a problem... how are we supposed to learn it if you don't know how to do it?" - Student
"I can't stand those guys back there, but I can't be mean to them, because I know I need their help." - Student
"These things usually bounce once, and then they break... I have no way of knowing whether this one has bounced or not." - Chemistry professor, on crucible lids
"You'll have to bear with me, I'm walking into college." - Some guy
"The Marines were like, 'No, you've committed some crimes,' and the Army was like, 'Hey, you've committed some crimes! Write a letter and you'll be fine.'" - Student at lunch
"I should be in class right now, and I don't care as much as I should." - Student at lunch
"I don't want to walk in without my notebook, without my textbook, and be like, 'Hi, I'm here, but I don't have my homework, either, so I'm kind of useless today, I'd rather be sick.'" - Student at lunch